I have to admit that I have never been the most organized person. There has always been a touch of chaos to the way I have lived since I was a child. My mother would get exasperated with my room as would my sister since we shared a room until we were teenagers. I would do a deep clean about once a month which would consist of me basically taking everything out & then replacing it. Major cleaning. Lol!
As I got older, I got a little better about being organized so that I would be able to do what I needed to do. Yet, there was some chaos still then. There was always something more important to do than to focus on organization.
Once I was married and started having kids, I tried to keep things organized. My kitchen is my obsessively organized area in my home. It drives me absolutely batty when something isn't where it is supposed to be there. Probably because I love to cook & bake so I have to have order there. Unfortunately, 99% of the time that is the only place I have order.
When my first husband & I separated, everything fell into chaos. I was doing my best just to make sure my two girls where o.k. & keeping us together. It was a very difficult time for us. My girls were around 2 and 4 years of age. I lost my job one month after their father & I divorced. I struggled to keep food on the table & pay our bills. Yet, I was determined to do what was best for my kids. All organization went out the door as I ended up going back to school, working, & taking care of 2 small children. We just had to live day to day. Yet, I still kept up my organized kitchen.
I tend to think that's sort of my sanctuary. My place of peace. As long as I can cook something or bake something, things were going to be o.k.
When I met my 2nd husband, I knew I didn't have to be perfect because he accepted me for who I was. As we started our life together, we moved quite a few times trying to find our perfect forever home. Due to that we have never fully unpacked into one of our homes. We were always half way unpacked & making do because we knew in our hearts that wasn't our home.
Well, finally we have our forever home. We purchased our home in July 2016. We are still in the process of unpacking & moving in. The weekend we started moving in we lost my wonderful Aunt Linda to cancer. That was a devastating loss to our whole family & we had many things to settle. After we laid her to rest in New Mexico we came back to settle in. Not long after, my husband was sent to New Jersey to work for a month! I wasn't able to get much done myself as I was taking care of our 2 year old & working. It seemed like we've had so many roadblocks & detours to getting our home settled.
Now, I am determined to get our house settled & organized. I am trying room by room to make our home much better. I admit that I am jealous of all the homes I see on instagram that are so organized, clean, & decorated. I wonder how they all do it. I'm doing good most nights when I get home from work to make dinner, deal with the toddler & teenagers, clean up a little bit, & get some sleep. I always feel like I'm not doing enough.
I know that I shouldn't measure myself by other people because no two people are the same but I do feel like I'm lacking some times. I envy those moms that get to home school their children, have their homes so clean, & have the cutest decorations set up. My decorating anymore has become a hodge podge of things from the kids, gifts, & some silk flowers that are 10 years old.
I am slowly making my home more mine & not a collection of stuff. My husband & I have both said that we need to get rid of the clutter in our lives. We have a rented storage building for the last 8 years that we are trying to clean out. We also have a small cottage in our back yard that we are trying to fix up so that our teenage daughters don't have to be on top of each other. Again, delays to that project due to circumstances beyond our control.
Yes, it's a lot of work but for once I am excited for the hard work & repairs. We have a home that is all ours. I can finally unpack all of the boxes. I can put things on the walls & paint the rooms any color I want. That was exciting for me. In fact, we painted 3 rooms of our house right after we moved in. I finally have my red kitchen! I've also learned that I don't have to have everything organized right this minute. It's a process that will take time but we will get it done.
I just need to remember that God is in control of our lives & even though I may want things to be a certain way, all things happen in His time.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
You would be turning 7 soon.....
7 years ago yesterday, I was sitting in the hospital E.R. hoping I was wrong but knowing that my heart was breaking bit by bit as we waited. When they finally got us into a room several hours later & told us that you were no longer with us, I thought I'd die. We were only about 4 months into the pregnancy when God decided He needed you more than we did.
The last few years I have handled the anniversary pretty well. This year, not so much. I still seem to tear up easily about you. I think it's because of your baby sister, Isabella. She just turned 3 the week before. She's a spitfire. I look at her and I can't help wondering about you.
We never got to hold you. We never even found out if you were a he or a she. I wonder if you would look more like your Daddy or like me. I wonder if you would be a cuddle buddy, more independent, or a little of both. I wonder if you would have the contagious smile that your sister has.
I wonder if we would be involved with football, t-ball, gymnastics, or dance. There are hundreds of things that I wonder about. But I know that God has a plan and that someday we will be with you again. For now, I can hold you in my heart and know that no one will love you more than your Mommy. You are my sweet Angel baby & I know that one day I will hold you in my arms.
Until that day, I know that you are with God & the ones closest to us that have already passed on. I love you, Angel Baby.
The last few years I have handled the anniversary pretty well. This year, not so much. I still seem to tear up easily about you. I think it's because of your baby sister, Isabella. She just turned 3 the week before. She's a spitfire. I look at her and I can't help wondering about you.
We never got to hold you. We never even found out if you were a he or a she. I wonder if you would look more like your Daddy or like me. I wonder if you would be a cuddle buddy, more independent, or a little of both. I wonder if you would have the contagious smile that your sister has.
I wonder if we would be involved with football, t-ball, gymnastics, or dance. There are hundreds of things that I wonder about. But I know that God has a plan and that someday we will be with you again. For now, I can hold you in my heart and know that no one will love you more than your Mommy. You are my sweet Angel baby & I know that one day I will hold you in my arms.
Until that day, I know that you are with God & the ones closest to us that have already passed on. I love you, Angel Baby.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Confession
Looking at the title of this post & that of my blog, you would think I was actually talking about going to church to confession. No, it's not about that. Yes, confession is good for the soul & definitely more of what I need to do but that's not what this post is really about. It's hard for me to put into words what I am trying to type now. Current events in the news have compelled me to write. I am writing because of Ray & Janay Rice.
I don't like to talk about those times in my past because I still cannot believe that I let these things happen to me. I am a smart woman. I knew how to take care of myself. I knew what was right & wrong or so I thought. The first time I was involved in an abusive relationship, I was 18 years old. I don't have any excuses for it. I had just graduated high school & most of my friends were off to college while I stayed home to go to community college. I was lonely. I started to hang out with a guy that I knew wasn't good for me. I knew him from other people while in high school & could never stand him while I was in high school. Yet, for some reason, I started hanging out with him all the time. Unfortunately, that caused a rift between my family & myself. One that I still have a hard time forgiving myself for. I ended up moving in with this person & my life changed for the worst. I still can't explain how I let this happen to me. I was a smart girl. I knew what was right & wrong. Yet, I got involved with someone who took all my money, helped get my vehicle repossessed, took something valuable from me that will never be returned, & who hit me. I lived in confusion & fear. I didn't think I could turn to my family because of how I had acted at the beginning. I had to walk miles to and from work every day. I had no food & never knew what to expect when I came back to the apartment. When he hit me, he said he was teaching me to defend myself. I finally came out of this situation after my great-aunt passed away. My family reached out to me & helped pull me from the hell I was in. I owe them so much for that. They pulled me out of abuse, they healed me from illness, & they kept me from going to jail.
After that, I told myself I would NEVER get into another situation like that again. How wrong I was.... A few years later I started dating someone I had known through the family for years. To all intents and purposes he was a good Catholic, Czech boy. My family knew his family. That should make everything right. No, it didn't. After a short period of dating we were engaged & after an even shorter engagement, we were married. Part of me thinks that my body & my head were warning me that things weren't right because shortly after we were married I developed migraines. I suffered from at least 1 or 2 migraines a week during the entire time we were married. I honestly thought that our marriage was as marriages were supposed to be. There is always going to be some arguing, some disagreement. Yet, as the years went on, everything became my fault. I wasn't good enough. It was his way or the highway. We had one beautiful daughter & while pregnant, I lost my job. I think that was a real turning point in our relationship. Dealing with the hardship & uncertainty. We kept together for a few more years & the arrival of another beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, I still remember when I took the pregnancy test & it was positive how he looked at me in condemnation even though we had agreed to have more children. The put downs & jibes at me continued. Everything was still my fault. I was a horrible mother. The fights & the hurt from the words & emotions. Finally, I saw how I was hurting my kids, how I was away from my family. I started to see a counselor who explained verbal & emotional abuse. I started to find my backbone before he could ever lay a hand on me. He then asked for a divorce & I thought my world shattered.
I am Catholic & believed that you could not get a divorce. That it was morally wrong. That was one of the things that kept me married to him for 7 years. Along with trying to figure out how I was going to take care of two little girls by myself. I had no where to go. We were living in a mobile home on his parents' land. He had them convinced that I was the problem also. How time changes so many things. We divorced & I picked myself up for my kids.
As time goes on, I can see some things through his eyes. I can understand his fear & uncertainty and know that since I was the closest one to him, I was an easy target. No, I cannot easily forget the pain that was caused but I have learnt to forgive. He & I actually get along now, most of the time. I think we were both so young & hurt by our marriage that it has made us both leery of each other & other people.
Luckily, time starts to heal all wounds. I have now been in a good relationship for over 7 years. My husband & I will celebrate 5 years of marriage next March. He truly loves me & doesn't hurt me. He doesn't want to change me & he believes in me.
Now I look to the future & try to protect my daughters from what I experienced. I thought I knew the signs before I got involved in my abusive relationships but I was wrong. I hope that I can see any signs before my daughters ever experience them.
A few things that every woman should know is that you are better than any one will ever give you credit for. Don't ever feel that you are not good enough. God put you on this earth so you are more than good enough because you are a child of God. Second, you always have a place to go to. No matter how bad it seems, there is always a friend, a family member, a complete stranger, or a church that will help you. You just have to reach out. I learnt that even being Catholic, divorce happens. God forgives & He knows everything that goes on behind closed doors. He does not want His children to be hurt so He knows it's o.k. when you have to do something to get out of those situations.
I pray for all the women, young & old, that have been in or are currently in abusive relationships. God is listening to our prayers & He will help you. Just reach out & ask. If you know me & need help, just ask. I will help. No one, no one deserves to be hurt.
I hope & wish for better for all of the men & women who are in abusive relationships. I hope & wish that our future generations do not have to experience them either.
You are smart, you are beautiful, you are worthy!!!
I don't like to talk about those times in my past because I still cannot believe that I let these things happen to me. I am a smart woman. I knew how to take care of myself. I knew what was right & wrong or so I thought. The first time I was involved in an abusive relationship, I was 18 years old. I don't have any excuses for it. I had just graduated high school & most of my friends were off to college while I stayed home to go to community college. I was lonely. I started to hang out with a guy that I knew wasn't good for me. I knew him from other people while in high school & could never stand him while I was in high school. Yet, for some reason, I started hanging out with him all the time. Unfortunately, that caused a rift between my family & myself. One that I still have a hard time forgiving myself for. I ended up moving in with this person & my life changed for the worst. I still can't explain how I let this happen to me. I was a smart girl. I knew what was right & wrong. Yet, I got involved with someone who took all my money, helped get my vehicle repossessed, took something valuable from me that will never be returned, & who hit me. I lived in confusion & fear. I didn't think I could turn to my family because of how I had acted at the beginning. I had to walk miles to and from work every day. I had no food & never knew what to expect when I came back to the apartment. When he hit me, he said he was teaching me to defend myself. I finally came out of this situation after my great-aunt passed away. My family reached out to me & helped pull me from the hell I was in. I owe them so much for that. They pulled me out of abuse, they healed me from illness, & they kept me from going to jail.
After that, I told myself I would NEVER get into another situation like that again. How wrong I was.... A few years later I started dating someone I had known through the family for years. To all intents and purposes he was a good Catholic, Czech boy. My family knew his family. That should make everything right. No, it didn't. After a short period of dating we were engaged & after an even shorter engagement, we were married. Part of me thinks that my body & my head were warning me that things weren't right because shortly after we were married I developed migraines. I suffered from at least 1 or 2 migraines a week during the entire time we were married. I honestly thought that our marriage was as marriages were supposed to be. There is always going to be some arguing, some disagreement. Yet, as the years went on, everything became my fault. I wasn't good enough. It was his way or the highway. We had one beautiful daughter & while pregnant, I lost my job. I think that was a real turning point in our relationship. Dealing with the hardship & uncertainty. We kept together for a few more years & the arrival of another beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, I still remember when I took the pregnancy test & it was positive how he looked at me in condemnation even though we had agreed to have more children. The put downs & jibes at me continued. Everything was still my fault. I was a horrible mother. The fights & the hurt from the words & emotions. Finally, I saw how I was hurting my kids, how I was away from my family. I started to see a counselor who explained verbal & emotional abuse. I started to find my backbone before he could ever lay a hand on me. He then asked for a divorce & I thought my world shattered.
I am Catholic & believed that you could not get a divorce. That it was morally wrong. That was one of the things that kept me married to him for 7 years. Along with trying to figure out how I was going to take care of two little girls by myself. I had no where to go. We were living in a mobile home on his parents' land. He had them convinced that I was the problem also. How time changes so many things. We divorced & I picked myself up for my kids.
As time goes on, I can see some things through his eyes. I can understand his fear & uncertainty and know that since I was the closest one to him, I was an easy target. No, I cannot easily forget the pain that was caused but I have learnt to forgive. He & I actually get along now, most of the time. I think we were both so young & hurt by our marriage that it has made us both leery of each other & other people.
Luckily, time starts to heal all wounds. I have now been in a good relationship for over 7 years. My husband & I will celebrate 5 years of marriage next March. He truly loves me & doesn't hurt me. He doesn't want to change me & he believes in me.
Now I look to the future & try to protect my daughters from what I experienced. I thought I knew the signs before I got involved in my abusive relationships but I was wrong. I hope that I can see any signs before my daughters ever experience them.
A few things that every woman should know is that you are better than any one will ever give you credit for. Don't ever feel that you are not good enough. God put you on this earth so you are more than good enough because you are a child of God. Second, you always have a place to go to. No matter how bad it seems, there is always a friend, a family member, a complete stranger, or a church that will help you. You just have to reach out. I learnt that even being Catholic, divorce happens. God forgives & He knows everything that goes on behind closed doors. He does not want His children to be hurt so He knows it's o.k. when you have to do something to get out of those situations.
I pray for all the women, young & old, that have been in or are currently in abusive relationships. God is listening to our prayers & He will help you. Just reach out & ask. If you know me & need help, just ask. I will help. No one, no one deserves to be hurt.
I hope & wish for better for all of the men & women who are in abusive relationships. I hope & wish that our future generations do not have to experience them either.
You are smart, you are beautiful, you are worthy!!!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
The newest member
It's been a while since I've written. T h e easiest explanation is the birth of our beautiful baby girl, Isabella Michelle. She was born on December 9th weighing in at 9lbs 15oz. She is a joy. Our baby is healthy & happy. A true gift from God. She makes my day just by showing me her smile. She already has her Daddy & I wrapped around her little finger. Her brothers & sisters think she's pretty special too.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Ups & Downs
There have been so many ups & downs for us since we first found out that we were having another baby. Our first up, of course, was the news of the pregnancy along with the complete shock. Both my husband & myself did not think that we would have another child at this late stage. My husband jokes that I ruined his 5 year plan. His plan was that in 5 years all of the kids would graduate high school & be out of the house. Then we would have time to ourselves. Well, now we will have time together raising another daughter. :)
The first down we had was the scare of another miscarriage. It was shortly after we had found out that we were pregnant. We told Dr. Becker of our loss 4 years ago & that we were concerned this time. They did a blood test that Thursday of our appointment and then the following Saturday we did another blood test at the hospital. The on-call doctor called us later that afternoon to tell us that my levels were dropping and therefore I should be expecting to miscarry our baby at any time. My world fell apart. I could not believe that we were going to lose our baby. We went a whole weekend being completely devastated. We had a follow up appointment with Dr. Becker that Monday. He too, thought that we were going to lose our baby. He told us that he wanted to do another, more thorough ultrasound. Our hearts were breaking but we went ahead with the ultrasound. That was when our miracle was seen. Our little "peanut" was alive & doing fine. Our fervent prayers were answered.
We've had minor ups & downs since then. Now we are dealing with decreased incomes & I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes. At first, I was devastated with the news but I've learned that it's not as bad as it first seems. I've talked to cousins and friends who had it with their last pregnancies and they are all well. I've also learned that no matter how down & upset I get, my husband has my back & keeps reminding me. I was pretty down this Saturday & feeling lost. When he came in & asked me why I was crying I told him that I was hormonal & the worries on my mind. This is what my wonderful husband said to me, "We always get through it. Do not worry so much over it because God has a plan for us and we have to trust in His plan. That's how I know we are going to be o.k. because He has a plan." Now, my husband does not talk much about religion and doesn't go to church. I try to go to church every Sunday and I even teach religious education to freshmen & sophomores. Yet, I was the one being reminded & taught this weekend.
God does have plans for each of us and we have to trust in Him & wait for things to happen in His time. Thank you, Lord, for giving me a wonderful & loving husband that helps to remind me to not sweat the small stuff & listen to You.
The first down we had was the scare of another miscarriage. It was shortly after we had found out that we were pregnant. We told Dr. Becker of our loss 4 years ago & that we were concerned this time. They did a blood test that Thursday of our appointment and then the following Saturday we did another blood test at the hospital. The on-call doctor called us later that afternoon to tell us that my levels were dropping and therefore I should be expecting to miscarry our baby at any time. My world fell apart. I could not believe that we were going to lose our baby. We went a whole weekend being completely devastated. We had a follow up appointment with Dr. Becker that Monday. He too, thought that we were going to lose our baby. He told us that he wanted to do another, more thorough ultrasound. Our hearts were breaking but we went ahead with the ultrasound. That was when our miracle was seen. Our little "peanut" was alive & doing fine. Our fervent prayers were answered.
We've had minor ups & downs since then. Now we are dealing with decreased incomes & I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes. At first, I was devastated with the news but I've learned that it's not as bad as it first seems. I've talked to cousins and friends who had it with their last pregnancies and they are all well. I've also learned that no matter how down & upset I get, my husband has my back & keeps reminding me. I was pretty down this Saturday & feeling lost. When he came in & asked me why I was crying I told him that I was hormonal & the worries on my mind. This is what my wonderful husband said to me, "We always get through it. Do not worry so much over it because God has a plan for us and we have to trust in His plan. That's how I know we are going to be o.k. because He has a plan." Now, my husband does not talk much about religion and doesn't go to church. I try to go to church every Sunday and I even teach religious education to freshmen & sophomores. Yet, I was the one being reminded & taught this weekend.
God does have plans for each of us and we have to trust in Him & wait for things to happen in His time. Thank you, Lord, for giving me a wonderful & loving husband that helps to remind me to not sweat the small stuff & listen to You.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
And Baby makes 6!!
Oh! The surprises that God drops into our laps. Mike & I thought we were just about done with raising kids when, boom. We are now expecting a baby. Technically, this will be our second since we suffered a miscarriage about 4 years ago. Mike jokes that I messed up his 5 year plan of having all the kids out of the house & time alone together. I guess God had other plans on how we were going to be spending our lives together.
So, we are now preparing for a new bundle of joy to join our family in December 2013. All the bets are flying as to if it's going to be a boy or a girl. Mike wants a boy because he says there's too much estrogen in the house now with me & the two girls. LOL! Gabby wants a baby sister because she doesn't want to change the diapers of a baby boy. Needless to say, there is a lot of humor behind the wager of the sex of the baby. Me, I just want a healthy, happy baby.
Honestly, I never imagined that I would be almost 40 & pregnant. This is a lot different that when I was pregnant with Caitlin & Gabby. The one thing really stands out when I got to the doctor is my "advanced maternal age". Due to this we have had to have extra blood tests & ultra sounds to make sure our little Peanut is doing o.k. Well, we've made it to over 16 weeks so far & things are looking good.
Monday, July 8th, we are scheduled for a Level 2 Ultrasound to make sure all is progressing well with our little Peanut. Hopefully, we will be able to find out if Peanut is a he or a she. :) Though, if Mike will let anyone know, that's still a question.
Here's to loving God's little surprises that He drops into our laps. :)
So, we are now preparing for a new bundle of joy to join our family in December 2013. All the bets are flying as to if it's going to be a boy or a girl. Mike wants a boy because he says there's too much estrogen in the house now with me & the two girls. LOL! Gabby wants a baby sister because she doesn't want to change the diapers of a baby boy. Needless to say, there is a lot of humor behind the wager of the sex of the baby. Me, I just want a healthy, happy baby.
Honestly, I never imagined that I would be almost 40 & pregnant. This is a lot different that when I was pregnant with Caitlin & Gabby. The one thing really stands out when I got to the doctor is my "advanced maternal age". Due to this we have had to have extra blood tests & ultra sounds to make sure our little Peanut is doing o.k. Well, we've made it to over 16 weeks so far & things are looking good.
Monday, July 8th, we are scheduled for a Level 2 Ultrasound to make sure all is progressing well with our little Peanut. Hopefully, we will be able to find out if Peanut is a he or a she. :) Though, if Mike will let anyone know, that's still a question.
Here's to loving God's little surprises that He drops into our laps. :)
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Life Changes
It's amazing the things that happen in our lives that completely change everything. On April 17, 2013, our lives were drastically changed. The explosion in West, TX not only rocked our house it rocked our lives. So many of our friends, family, & people we just knew had their homes damaged or destroyed. The loss of fire fighters & EMT's in Abbott & West was devastating. The West Ambulance lost not only members & friends, but also lost their facility & much needed equipment. The West fire department also lost much needed equipment. Families had their lives turned upside down not only by losing their homes but by injuries & deaths caused from the explosion. The owners of West Fertilizer lost so much & are carrying this heavy burden on their shoulders. One thing that West & Abbott has not lost during these trying times is our Faith. As so many have said, we are shaken but we are not stirred. Also, that God is big enough to help us through this.
Among all the stories of loss & damages there are many stories of miracles. I can't tell you how many people have told me that somehow they weren't harmed when it's hard to believe when you look at the damage around them. How in houses where angels & crosses are displayed, there is no damage near those items. How in a yard where the statue of the Virgin Mary survived without damage but the bird feeder sitting next too it was completely destroyed. There are so many signs that God and His angels were there protecting the people of West to the best of their ability.
In the midst of tragedy, there was so much good that came about. The people of West pulled together & started helping each other out. Abbott opened it's doors to others. Many surrounding communities pitched in with supplies, volunteers, & shelter. In the days following, the people that were displaced jumped in to volunteer to help everyone else too. Yes, there where people that took advantage of the goodness that was present as it always seems to happen with the devil walking among us. But the goodness outweighed the evil.
I can't help but thank God for the miracles & the love that He has brought to us through these trying times. We will continue to praise Him & to help our communities rebuild.
We are "Shaken not stirred" & "God is Big Enough".
Among all the stories of loss & damages there are many stories of miracles. I can't tell you how many people have told me that somehow they weren't harmed when it's hard to believe when you look at the damage around them. How in houses where angels & crosses are displayed, there is no damage near those items. How in a yard where the statue of the Virgin Mary survived without damage but the bird feeder sitting next too it was completely destroyed. There are so many signs that God and His angels were there protecting the people of West to the best of their ability.
In the midst of tragedy, there was so much good that came about. The people of West pulled together & started helping each other out. Abbott opened it's doors to others. Many surrounding communities pitched in with supplies, volunteers, & shelter. In the days following, the people that were displaced jumped in to volunteer to help everyone else too. Yes, there where people that took advantage of the goodness that was present as it always seems to happen with the devil walking among us. But the goodness outweighed the evil.
I can't help but thank God for the miracles & the love that He has brought to us through these trying times. We will continue to praise Him & to help our communities rebuild.
We are "Shaken not stirred" & "God is Big Enough".
Friday, March 29, 2013
Good Friday
Sitting in church tonight, it was so sad in a way. The altar was stripped &tje statues were covered. Even more of a stark reminder that this is also a time for mourning & reverence. Jesus died on the cross so that we could live. That was the ultimate sacrifice.
Can you say that if you were in His place, that you would die for Him? So much to be grateful for. God's ultimate love for us. John 3:16 "For God so loved the earth that He gave His one and only Son so that whoever belives in Him may not perish but have eternal life."
Please remember all the blessings you have because of Jesus' sacrifice. I know I am.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Amazing weekend
Have you ever had an experience where you were absolutely dreading something and, in the end, you wonder what the heck you were dreading? Well, that was me. My sister, Mom, Dad, & a wonderful friend were all telling me that I really needed to attend an A.C.T.S. Retreat. I kept putting it off because I could not think why I would need to attend a retreat. Yes, we all need time to ourselves to recharge our spiritual side but I'm also not one to be around a bunch of people I don't know (in person) & share. The thought of it made my skin crawl & scared me to death.
Well, my lovely sister & a dear friend managed to talk me into signing up (o.k. "pushed me" to sign up). I held onto that application for as long as I could until my sister asked me to give it to her to make sure I got to go. Even after that I was still thinking of backing out of the retreat. Finally the day arrived for me to go on retreat. That was a nerve wracking experience in itself.
I was a bundle of nerves & acid reflux. By the time I got home from work, my stomach was in knots! My husband was taking me to the church on his way to work so that I couldn't back out. He was having too much fun teasing me about my discomfort. He especially loved taking my phone away from me once we reached the church. Lucky for him, my parents arrived to see me off. My darling husband had to leave for work so it was now up to my parents to make sure I got onto the bus for the retreat & not trying to walk home. I was so nervous!! My husband thought I was going to be ill in the parking lot (luckily, that didn't happen).
Next, I had to sit through the send off. The whole time I was shaking inside & wondering when no one would look at me. I felt like a bug under a microscope. I know that was all in my head but hey, it felt real to me! Luckily, my parents were standing behind me during this to make sure I didn't chicken out! Then the time came to get onto the bus.
Luckily, I was able to get a seat to myself on the bus. I had plenty of time to ponder what was to come on our trip. I still couldn't get the knots to work out of my stomach but I did manage to get a little catnap in. But I was not prepared for what was to come. Getting off the bus at the retreat center was a trial for me also. There was a very warm welcoming but to me, it felt like suffocation. I just wanted to get off the bus & away from everyone as much as possible. Of course, my sister was watching out for me since she was on the retreat team. No backing out now.....
I cannot go into to detail about what happened on the retreat because "what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain" but I will say that it is an experience that I was truly blessed to be a part of. I will say that I cried many tears, laughed, and made some wonderful, new friends. This retreat was definitely something that surprised me, in a good way. As my sister told me, "you should always listen to what your big sister tells you". If it had not been for her persistence and that of a good friend, I would have missed out on the chance of a lifetime.
I do believe that what I experienced has changed me & hopefully for the better. I have a way to go but I think this has improved my travel on my faith journey. I also know that I am not alone & have many new sisters to help me should I need it. But, I definitely have the best big sister a girl could ask for that continues to look out for me.
So, no matter your apprehensions or fears, face them. Take the time to go on a retreat and reconnect with your faith & with God.
Luke 22:42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done."
I hope that you will have the best experience possible & will take so much more from the experience than you ever thought like I did.
Well, my lovely sister & a dear friend managed to talk me into signing up (o.k. "pushed me" to sign up). I held onto that application for as long as I could until my sister asked me to give it to her to make sure I got to go. Even after that I was still thinking of backing out of the retreat. Finally the day arrived for me to go on retreat. That was a nerve wracking experience in itself.
I was a bundle of nerves & acid reflux. By the time I got home from work, my stomach was in knots! My husband was taking me to the church on his way to work so that I couldn't back out. He was having too much fun teasing me about my discomfort. He especially loved taking my phone away from me once we reached the church. Lucky for him, my parents arrived to see me off. My darling husband had to leave for work so it was now up to my parents to make sure I got onto the bus for the retreat & not trying to walk home. I was so nervous!! My husband thought I was going to be ill in the parking lot (luckily, that didn't happen).
Next, I had to sit through the send off. The whole time I was shaking inside & wondering when no one would look at me. I felt like a bug under a microscope. I know that was all in my head but hey, it felt real to me! Luckily, my parents were standing behind me during this to make sure I didn't chicken out! Then the time came to get onto the bus.
Luckily, I was able to get a seat to myself on the bus. I had plenty of time to ponder what was to come on our trip. I still couldn't get the knots to work out of my stomach but I did manage to get a little catnap in. But I was not prepared for what was to come. Getting off the bus at the retreat center was a trial for me also. There was a very warm welcoming but to me, it felt like suffocation. I just wanted to get off the bus & away from everyone as much as possible. Of course, my sister was watching out for me since she was on the retreat team. No backing out now.....
I cannot go into to detail about what happened on the retreat because "what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain" but I will say that it is an experience that I was truly blessed to be a part of. I will say that I cried many tears, laughed, and made some wonderful, new friends. This retreat was definitely something that surprised me, in a good way. As my sister told me, "you should always listen to what your big sister tells you". If it had not been for her persistence and that of a good friend, I would have missed out on the chance of a lifetime.
I do believe that what I experienced has changed me & hopefully for the better. I have a way to go but I think this has improved my travel on my faith journey. I also know that I am not alone & have many new sisters to help me should I need it. But, I definitely have the best big sister a girl could ask for that continues to look out for me.
So, no matter your apprehensions or fears, face them. Take the time to go on a retreat and reconnect with your faith & with God.
Luke 22:42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done."
I hope that you will have the best experience possible & will take so much more from the experience than you ever thought like I did.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Guilt.....
It never fails that somehow my children can make me feel guilty with just a few words or a look. Though what mother that works a full-time job doesn't feel guilty about not being with their kids?
My children have always been & always will be the most important things in my life. They drive me crazy & make me wonder if they are killing each other but they truly are the loves of my life.
I've had a hard time this week because I am going on a retreat where I won't have my cellphone. This will be the first time ever that my girls won't be able to readily reach me. It's also the first time their step-dad will have them to himself for an entire weekend. I know that Mike is wonderful with my kids but I still feel apprehensive leaving them. I also know that I need this time for me. I need this time to center myself & reconnect with God.
I pray that while I'm gone my children won't kill each other & that maybe this will help them strengthen the bond they have with Mike & each other. Hopefully I won't spend the whole weekend weighed down with guilt either.
Prayers and blessings to you.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Lent & Blessings
I find myself being reflective this time of year. It's the beginning of a new year and the Lenten season. So many Catholics I know think of the things they will "give up" for Lent and what a hardship this will be. I can't help but think, this is not a hardship really. If we stop and think of what Jesus "gave up" for us, we do so little to thank Him for His sacrifice.
I was listening to my daughters last night talk about what they are giving up for Lent & how important it was for them. I was proud to know that they were giving up things that they really enjoy in reflection of the Lenten Season but yet, I wonder if they truly understand what this means. I know within the next few days we will spend some time discussing this.
I have been constantly reminded that God makes things happen in His way in His own time. We can ask, pray, even demand things from Him but it will not happen unless He wishes it so. I know of several times that I have prayed & asked where He was when I needed Him most. When I look back now I am reminded of "Footsteps". There are many times in my life when I can look back and see "one set of footsteps in the sand". I know of many times when, to me, it seemed like God was not there with me at the time but I know that it was those times when He was carrying me & guiding me.
I hope that with the way our world is now & with raising my children, I can pass on to them that no matter how dark it seems, God is always with us. He may be right beside us or He may be carrying us but He is always there. All we need to remember is to pray and try to be the better version of ourselves that He wishes us to be.
There are so many blessings that He has allowed me to have in my life. So, I will try to use this Lenten Season to be more thankful for the sacrifices He made so that I could have those blessings. I'm not going to try to make this about hardships or sacrifices, I want to make this about celebrating. Celebrating that God sacrificed His only son so that we may live. How wonderful is that? That He gave His only son for us. That is the most noble sacrifice and we should honor that and feel humbly blessed.
I was listening to my daughters last night talk about what they are giving up for Lent & how important it was for them. I was proud to know that they were giving up things that they really enjoy in reflection of the Lenten Season but yet, I wonder if they truly understand what this means. I know within the next few days we will spend some time discussing this.
I have been constantly reminded that God makes things happen in His way in His own time. We can ask, pray, even demand things from Him but it will not happen unless He wishes it so. I know of several times that I have prayed & asked where He was when I needed Him most. When I look back now I am reminded of "Footsteps". There are many times in my life when I can look back and see "one set of footsteps in the sand". I know of many times when, to me, it seemed like God was not there with me at the time but I know that it was those times when He was carrying me & guiding me.
I hope that with the way our world is now & with raising my children, I can pass on to them that no matter how dark it seems, God is always with us. He may be right beside us or He may be carrying us but He is always there. All we need to remember is to pray and try to be the better version of ourselves that He wishes us to be.
There are so many blessings that He has allowed me to have in my life. So, I will try to use this Lenten Season to be more thankful for the sacrifices He made so that I could have those blessings. I'm not going to try to make this about hardships or sacrifices, I want to make this about celebrating. Celebrating that God sacrificed His only son so that we may live. How wonderful is that? That He gave His only son for us. That is the most noble sacrifice and we should honor that and feel humbly blessed.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Angels
There are words in my heart that I can't seem to put onto paper to express my thoughts about these dear angels that have been lost. We do not always know God's plans but we have to have Faith & Hope for the best. I pray for every family that has ever lost an angel either thru miscarriage, born asleep, or lost them after having them for a very short period of time. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day.
I'm asking for you to please light a candle tonight at 7pm in any time zone for one hour in rememberance for these angels. I know that I will be taking that time to remember mine, my friends', & my family's sweet angels that God welcomed into His arms.
So, please light a candle at 7pm tonight (any time zone) for one hour.
I'm asking for you to please light a candle tonight at 7pm in any time zone for one hour in rememberance for these angels. I know that I will be taking that time to remember mine, my friends', & my family's sweet angels that God welcomed into His arms.
Friday, October 5, 2012
What would you do?
I have to ask this question, what would you do? Now you are wondering what the rest of that question is. Well here it is & then I'll explain why I'm asking.
What would you do if you are in your car, waiting to pull into traffic, & someone (who is walking by) either knocks on your window or tries to get your attention wants you to roll down your window? Would you roll down your window and assist them?
I ask this question because it has happened to me quite a few times within the last two years. Once, I was in the car with both of my daughters and we were stopped at a red light. A man knocked on my daughter's window and was asking us to help. We were not in the best part of town & , as I said, my daughters were with me. I kept one hand on my cell phone and prayed for the light to turn green so that we could go. My daughters were scared and finally the light turned for us to go.
Second, I was on my way from work when I had to stop at an intersection. I was talking on my cell phone with my daughter to let her know I was on my way home. As I stopped my car an older woman came walking up to my car with tears in her eyes. I rolled my window just a crack to hear her. She asked me for help because she was taking care of her grandchildren and desperately needed money to feed them. I gave her the last $20 I had on me that day.
Third, I have seen this man several times recently. There's an older man that stands at the stop light near the interstate where I go every day. He's always walking up & down the median trying to get any one's attention. I always avert my eyes and hope he doesn't try to bother me.
Each time I have encountered I am reminded of a Bible story. I don't remember every bit of it but I remember the gist of it. The story is how a man is told that Jesus is going to visit him that day. So the man prepares for Jesus to visit him but is interrupted 3 times by strangers. Finally, the man is so tired and frustrated because he feels that God has not visited him when God appears to the man and explains that He had been there. That He was those strangers that had interrupted him during the day. I can't help but wonder when I'm driving away from these strangers that have interrupted my life, "what if that was God?". What should I have done?
I've always tried to help those in need but in a safe manner. I know that times are very hard right now and we have more homeless, hungry, & jobless people. I also remember when I was in their shoes. It was not too long ago that I didn't have a car and I had to walk several miles to and from work. That I didn't have money for food & went a lot of time without anything to eat. That I didn't really have a safe place to sleep but was grateful for what shelter I had at the time. I also know that I was extremely grateful to those that gave me a hand up in my time of need. But also during those times, I never knocked on some one's car window or tried to ask anyone to go out of their way to help me.
The hard part I have with it now, is that I'm scared. Scared that the person that's trying to get my attention or knocking on my window may want to harm me or my children. Yet, I'm also scared that if I don't do something to help them, that I'm not doing what I should be doing as a Christian. So, I try to do my part by donating to the food banks, passing on information where they can get the help they are searching for. But in my heart I'm always asking myself if that was enough.
So, I guess, as I wonder if I do enough, I'm curious to know what you would do.
What would you do if you are in your car, waiting to pull into traffic, & someone (who is walking by) either knocks on your window or tries to get your attention wants you to roll down your window? Would you roll down your window and assist them?
I ask this question because it has happened to me quite a few times within the last two years. Once, I was in the car with both of my daughters and we were stopped at a red light. A man knocked on my daughter's window and was asking us to help. We were not in the best part of town & , as I said, my daughters were with me. I kept one hand on my cell phone and prayed for the light to turn green so that we could go. My daughters were scared and finally the light turned for us to go.
Second, I was on my way from work when I had to stop at an intersection. I was talking on my cell phone with my daughter to let her know I was on my way home. As I stopped my car an older woman came walking up to my car with tears in her eyes. I rolled my window just a crack to hear her. She asked me for help because she was taking care of her grandchildren and desperately needed money to feed them. I gave her the last $20 I had on me that day.
Third, I have seen this man several times recently. There's an older man that stands at the stop light near the interstate where I go every day. He's always walking up & down the median trying to get any one's attention. I always avert my eyes and hope he doesn't try to bother me.
Each time I have encountered I am reminded of a Bible story. I don't remember every bit of it but I remember the gist of it. The story is how a man is told that Jesus is going to visit him that day. So the man prepares for Jesus to visit him but is interrupted 3 times by strangers. Finally, the man is so tired and frustrated because he feels that God has not visited him when God appears to the man and explains that He had been there. That He was those strangers that had interrupted him during the day. I can't help but wonder when I'm driving away from these strangers that have interrupted my life, "what if that was God?". What should I have done?
I've always tried to help those in need but in a safe manner. I know that times are very hard right now and we have more homeless, hungry, & jobless people. I also remember when I was in their shoes. It was not too long ago that I didn't have a car and I had to walk several miles to and from work. That I didn't have money for food & went a lot of time without anything to eat. That I didn't really have a safe place to sleep but was grateful for what shelter I had at the time. I also know that I was extremely grateful to those that gave me a hand up in my time of need. But also during those times, I never knocked on some one's car window or tried to ask anyone to go out of their way to help me.
The hard part I have with it now, is that I'm scared. Scared that the person that's trying to get my attention or knocking on my window may want to harm me or my children. Yet, I'm also scared that if I don't do something to help them, that I'm not doing what I should be doing as a Christian. So, I try to do my part by donating to the food banks, passing on information where they can get the help they are searching for. But in my heart I'm always asking myself if that was enough.
So, I guess, as I wonder if I do enough, I'm curious to know what you would do.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Warning! Political and Religious views ahead......
O.K. I usually try to keep my political and religious views to myself or at least limited to those closest to me but with the presidential campaign ramping up and the state of the world today, I had to say something.
From birth, I have been raised as Catholic. Not many people understand what it is to be Catholic and how anyone could raise their child as a Catholic. I have heard before that "how can you choose for your child what religion they are going to be?" My answer is this: "How can you NOT choose for your child?" We are all born into this world innocent and unknowing of the things of God & man. It is our parents' job to TEACH us what is right and what is wrong. My parents chose to teach me to be Catholic. I'm not saying that being Catholic is the ONLY religion. Many people do have questions that they need answered and therefore find them in other religions. Never once have I tried to make anyone become a Catholic. I just want them to know God & to love God. That, to me, is the basis of any religion.
Yes, with all the wars that are happening in our world based on religion, there are many questions. I am not a theologist so I cannot tell you what is right or wrong in any religion. I just feel that if we all learned to open our hearts & our minds to God, then we could finally find the Peace that we are all searching for.
There is so much in the media because of the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention. Honestly, I try to ignore most of the political propaganda that is floating around but this last bit I just could not ignore. Glen Beck posted on Facebook about how the Democratic National Convention made sure to eliminate any use of God at their convention. Really??!! How can you exclude God? Even if you don't mention God, He is still there. It saddens me to no end that these people that are wanting to be our representatives in this country want to EXCLUDE GOD. Excuse me, but I don't want someone who EXCLUDES God to have ANY say for me.
Our Founding Fathers made sure when they set up our Constitution and Bill of Rights that it was based on our BELIEF in GOD. Look at our Pledge of Allegiance: "One Nation UNDER GOD, Indivisible with Liberty & Justice for ALL". Of course, there has been talk of them taking this line out of the Pledge of Allegiance. Our currency has always been printed with "In God We Trust". Since when did we pull away from God? When did we stop "trusting in God"?
I believe that we need to get back to our roots and find our Beliefs & Trust in God in our everyday lives and society in order to bring our country to rights. We are falling fast and without God, I fear we will fall too far with no return in sight. We need to find that place where we put God & Family first. We've all been so busy trying to "get ahead" that we are "falling behind" in what really matters.
Again, this is just my opinion. "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15
From birth, I have been raised as Catholic. Not many people understand what it is to be Catholic and how anyone could raise their child as a Catholic. I have heard before that "how can you choose for your child what religion they are going to be?" My answer is this: "How can you NOT choose for your child?" We are all born into this world innocent and unknowing of the things of God & man. It is our parents' job to TEACH us what is right and what is wrong. My parents chose to teach me to be Catholic. I'm not saying that being Catholic is the ONLY religion. Many people do have questions that they need answered and therefore find them in other religions. Never once have I tried to make anyone become a Catholic. I just want them to know God & to love God. That, to me, is the basis of any religion.
Yes, with all the wars that are happening in our world based on religion, there are many questions. I am not a theologist so I cannot tell you what is right or wrong in any religion. I just feel that if we all learned to open our hearts & our minds to God, then we could finally find the Peace that we are all searching for.
There is so much in the media because of the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention. Honestly, I try to ignore most of the political propaganda that is floating around but this last bit I just could not ignore. Glen Beck posted on Facebook about how the Democratic National Convention made sure to eliminate any use of God at their convention. Really??!! How can you exclude God? Even if you don't mention God, He is still there. It saddens me to no end that these people that are wanting to be our representatives in this country want to EXCLUDE GOD. Excuse me, but I don't want someone who EXCLUDES God to have ANY say for me.
Our Founding Fathers made sure when they set up our Constitution and Bill of Rights that it was based on our BELIEF in GOD. Look at our Pledge of Allegiance: "One Nation UNDER GOD, Indivisible with Liberty & Justice for ALL". Of course, there has been talk of them taking this line out of the Pledge of Allegiance. Our currency has always been printed with "In God We Trust". Since when did we pull away from God? When did we stop "trusting in God"?
I believe that we need to get back to our roots and find our Beliefs & Trust in God in our everyday lives and society in order to bring our country to rights. We are falling fast and without God, I fear we will fall too far with no return in sight. We need to find that place where we put God & Family first. We've all been so busy trying to "get ahead" that we are "falling behind" in what really matters.
Again, this is just my opinion. "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15
Monday, August 27, 2012
Am I a bad Mom?
Well, the new school year has started and I feel like a bad Mom. Why? Because there were so many things that I forgot to do before my girls left for school today.
1. I forgot to take the "First Day of School" pictures. Honestly, when did this become a priority? I don't remember ever having "First Day of School" pictures when I was growing up but I am supposed to remember to take pictures of my children before they go to school. Guess we will start a new tradition: "Second Day of School" pictures!
2. I had no idea where Gabby had put her schedule of classes for this semester. Last night she had already gone to bed & I was getting ready for bed when I heard their bedroom door open. Gabby comes to ask me "Mommy, where's my schedule?" Ummmmm??? Good question. The last time I saw her schedule was last Thursday when we walked all over the school to meet all of her teachers. Thank goodness she can get a copy of her schedule from the school office. Also, since when was I supposed to know where her paper disappeared to? ("But, Mom, you had it last." Ummm, no, I gave that back to you. Didn't I????)
3. I get a call from the school today wanting to know if I have Gabby's immunization records. Dang it!!! Yes, my daughter has her shots but if I could remember where I put those papers I will be doing good. Maybe the doctor has a shot for me to have a better memory?
4. I forgot to make sure Gabby had her physical papers with her this morning also. Guess I will be searching my house this evening for all her papers or calling the doctor's office tomorrow. ("Hello? Yes, I've lost my daughter's physical papers because my brain was not ready for school yet & is still on vacation somewhere.")
I swear, that sometimes I need a secretary at home to keep up with papers, schedules, & missing items!! It doesn't help that we are still unpacking boxes. If I was the only person in my house, I might be able to find things but I am not the only one. So, I may have put something on the kitchen table (so it would be easy to find) but that doesn't mean it is still there. (The dog ate it! Honestly, she could have. She's already shredded our gas bill.)
This kind of lost item situation happens often in our house. Just this weekend I was checking to make sure I had my Westfest Associate Director name badge & to locate Mike's. Guess what. I found mine but we have no clue where Mike's is. So, I guess I will be searching our storage facility to see if it is in one of the boxes that we haven't moved yet. Especially since Westfest is this Labor Day Weekend.
Yes, we are spread here, there, & yonder. We laugh about it in our house because we know how disorganized we are compared to others in our family. (Don't even ask how many storage buildings we have!) I wish I could be as organized and well prepared like my mother & sister. I often have to call my sister to ask if we have a certain meeting or my niece will send me a text message the morning of the meeting. LOL!
I am working hard on organizing this new home of ours but I just need more time. Between working full-time, keeping up with the girls' schedules, volunteering, & other family obligations; I'm good to get sleep!! I keep praying that the organization fairies will magically fix my house for me. They can also drag the house cleaning fairies, cooking fairies, & laundry fairies to help them out. :) Until then, I will continue to bumble things up and try to get it right. At least I am there for my kids when they need me no matter how disorganized my home & life may be.
1. I forgot to take the "First Day of School" pictures. Honestly, when did this become a priority? I don't remember ever having "First Day of School" pictures when I was growing up but I am supposed to remember to take pictures of my children before they go to school. Guess we will start a new tradition: "Second Day of School" pictures!
2. I had no idea where Gabby had put her schedule of classes for this semester. Last night she had already gone to bed & I was getting ready for bed when I heard their bedroom door open. Gabby comes to ask me "Mommy, where's my schedule?" Ummmmm??? Good question. The last time I saw her schedule was last Thursday when we walked all over the school to meet all of her teachers. Thank goodness she can get a copy of her schedule from the school office. Also, since when was I supposed to know where her paper disappeared to? ("But, Mom, you had it last." Ummm, no, I gave that back to you. Didn't I????)
3. I get a call from the school today wanting to know if I have Gabby's immunization records. Dang it!!! Yes, my daughter has her shots but if I could remember where I put those papers I will be doing good. Maybe the doctor has a shot for me to have a better memory?
4. I forgot to make sure Gabby had her physical papers with her this morning also. Guess I will be searching my house this evening for all her papers or calling the doctor's office tomorrow. ("Hello? Yes, I've lost my daughter's physical papers because my brain was not ready for school yet & is still on vacation somewhere.")
I swear, that sometimes I need a secretary at home to keep up with papers, schedules, & missing items!! It doesn't help that we are still unpacking boxes. If I was the only person in my house, I might be able to find things but I am not the only one. So, I may have put something on the kitchen table (so it would be easy to find) but that doesn't mean it is still there. (The dog ate it! Honestly, she could have. She's already shredded our gas bill.)
This kind of lost item situation happens often in our house. Just this weekend I was checking to make sure I had my Westfest Associate Director name badge & to locate Mike's. Guess what. I found mine but we have no clue where Mike's is. So, I guess I will be searching our storage facility to see if it is in one of the boxes that we haven't moved yet. Especially since Westfest is this Labor Day Weekend.
Yes, we are spread here, there, & yonder. We laugh about it in our house because we know how disorganized we are compared to others in our family. (Don't even ask how many storage buildings we have!) I wish I could be as organized and well prepared like my mother & sister. I often have to call my sister to ask if we have a certain meeting or my niece will send me a text message the morning of the meeting. LOL!
I am working hard on organizing this new home of ours but I just need more time. Between working full-time, keeping up with the girls' schedules, volunteering, & other family obligations; I'm good to get sleep!! I keep praying that the organization fairies will magically fix my house for me. They can also drag the house cleaning fairies, cooking fairies, & laundry fairies to help them out. :) Until then, I will continue to bumble things up and try to get it right. At least I am there for my kids when they need me no matter how disorganized my home & life may be.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Do you really know me?
As time goes by I find myself asking that question a lot. I think it really hit home when my 20th class reunion came around this year. I debated for a long time if I wanted to go or not. I was part of our class page on Facebook & I would read the posts as the reunion drew closer. As I read I would think "who is that?", "do I remember that person from high school?". Of course, with a class of over 330 it's not likely that I knew everyone. Also, not very likely that I was known either.
My husband, Mike, & I actually graduated from the same school & the same year. We didn't really know each other in high school. Mike will tell you that he saw me as "Miss Goody Two Shoes" in school because I didn't get into trouble and didn't go to the parties. He was in a whole different "clique" at school than I was. So, we didn't really know each other then.
Mike & I were not able to attend the 20 year reunion after all. We were moving into our new home (well, new to us). We both took turns looking at the pictures posted on the Facebook page to see who we could recognize. It looks like everyone had a great time but we couldn't even guess the names of some people. I guess that's what happens after 20 years and a class of so many. I found myself regretting that I had not attended the reunion. That I felt like I should have gone to see if anyone remembered me like I was trying to remember them from the pictures.
I don't know who would have remembered me & I sometimes wonder what they would remember about me from high school. Would they be like my husband and think of me as the one that didn't get into trouble? Would they think of me as the one that the computer teacher left in charge of the class whenever she left the room? Or would they think of me as the friend that they missed & hadn't seen in so long? I don't know what the answers to those questions would be now but hopefully we can attend our 25 reunion and see.
This whole thing with our reunion & how I was thinking brought me full circle to my daughter, Caitlin, who is a Freshman this year. This summer we have talked about how she feels out of place because she thinks people think she is "too random & different". The only advice that I can give to her is to be herself. If only those people she goes to school with could see 1/10 of what I see when I'm around her, they would know what a special person she really is.
I think the problem with high school is we are all trying to find our "place" and how we fit in with everyone else so that we don't really take the time to really get to know who we are. I can tell you that the friends that take the time to really know you, are the ones that you will have the rest of your lives. Also, take the time to really get to know someone that you are around all the time. Everyone needs to dig below the surface and quit judging what's on the surface.
So ask yourself, do you really know me and do you really know yourself? I know I am.
My husband, Mike, & I actually graduated from the same school & the same year. We didn't really know each other in high school. Mike will tell you that he saw me as "Miss Goody Two Shoes" in school because I didn't get into trouble and didn't go to the parties. He was in a whole different "clique" at school than I was. So, we didn't really know each other then.
Mike & I were not able to attend the 20 year reunion after all. We were moving into our new home (well, new to us). We both took turns looking at the pictures posted on the Facebook page to see who we could recognize. It looks like everyone had a great time but we couldn't even guess the names of some people. I guess that's what happens after 20 years and a class of so many. I found myself regretting that I had not attended the reunion. That I felt like I should have gone to see if anyone remembered me like I was trying to remember them from the pictures.
I don't know who would have remembered me & I sometimes wonder what they would remember about me from high school. Would they be like my husband and think of me as the one that didn't get into trouble? Would they think of me as the one that the computer teacher left in charge of the class whenever she left the room? Or would they think of me as the friend that they missed & hadn't seen in so long? I don't know what the answers to those questions would be now but hopefully we can attend our 25 reunion and see.
This whole thing with our reunion & how I was thinking brought me full circle to my daughter, Caitlin, who is a Freshman this year. This summer we have talked about how she feels out of place because she thinks people think she is "too random & different". The only advice that I can give to her is to be herself. If only those people she goes to school with could see 1/10 of what I see when I'm around her, they would know what a special person she really is.
I think the problem with high school is we are all trying to find our "place" and how we fit in with everyone else so that we don't really take the time to really get to know who we are. I can tell you that the friends that take the time to really know you, are the ones that you will have the rest of your lives. Also, take the time to really get to know someone that you are around all the time. Everyone needs to dig below the surface and quit judging what's on the surface.
So ask yourself, do you really know me and do you really know yourself? I know I am.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
And on we go......
Time is flying by so quickly. We are nearing the end of another school year. Yet, before we reach that we have so many different activities going on. My calendar is filling up rapidly and I'm trying to make sure nothing gets missed.
Gabby is almost finished with her physical therapy. We are just so grateful for the wonderful doctors, nurses, & therapists that we have been blessed to work with while Gabby's been dealing with her RSD. She is doing so well & so fast. Gabby has kept a wonderful attitude for the most part. You can tell she doesn't let much get her down just by how she made the cheerleading squad while still in her boot!!
Caitlin has so many things happening now. She has finished track season. She has the long legs and endurance so that she is doing long distance running. She did wonderful this year! She would leave me in her dust for sure. Also, she is going to be moving on to high school. It doesn't seem possible that my Tweeter is going to be in high school. The time sure has flown.
.jpg)
Along with the clock moving so quickly, my niece, Heather, is graduating from high school this year. She will be heading off to Texas A & M University before I can blink!! I know that she will have a wonderful time at college and that she will kick butt.
All of the kids are growing up so quickly. Sometimes I just want time to stand still so that I can hold them close but I know that won't happen. I just pray that God and all of His angels continue to bless them and keep watch over them.
This year has flown by. More wonderful news in our lives, we became grandparents!! My beautiful step-daughter, Ashley, & her husband, Lance, welcomed their baby boy on February 24th. Torian Michael is such a joy!!
Definitely didn't think I would be a grandma at this age but I sure do love this little boy! He is such a cutie & so sweet!!
Our lives are always moving forward no matter how much we wish they could stay in one place for a time. We are always trying to do what is best & right for every one of our children & those closest to us. Prayer is a great guide as we try to decide those many things that come up as parents. These aren't always the easiest decisions to make but at the time, they are the right ones for the situation we are in. We just try to do the best we can with love and God's guidance.
Gabby is almost finished with her physical therapy. We are just so grateful for the wonderful doctors, nurses, & therapists that we have been blessed to work with while Gabby's been dealing with her RSD. She is doing so well & so fast. Gabby has kept a wonderful attitude for the most part. You can tell she doesn't let much get her down just by how she made the cheerleading squad while still in her boot!!
Caitlin has so many things happening now. She has finished track season. She has the long legs and endurance so that she is doing long distance running. She did wonderful this year! She would leave me in her dust for sure. Also, she is going to be moving on to high school. It doesn't seem possible that my Tweeter is going to be in high school. The time sure has flown.
.jpg)
Along with the clock moving so quickly, my niece, Heather, is graduating from high school this year. She will be heading off to Texas A & M University before I can blink!! I know that she will have a wonderful time at college and that she will kick butt.
All of the kids are growing up so quickly. Sometimes I just want time to stand still so that I can hold them close but I know that won't happen. I just pray that God and all of His angels continue to bless them and keep watch over them.
This year has flown by. More wonderful news in our lives, we became grandparents!! My beautiful step-daughter, Ashley, & her husband, Lance, welcomed their baby boy on February 24th. Torian Michael is such a joy!!
Our lives are always moving forward no matter how much we wish they could stay in one place for a time. We are always trying to do what is best & right for every one of our children & those closest to us. Prayer is a great guide as we try to decide those many things that come up as parents. These aren't always the easiest decisions to make but at the time, they are the right ones for the situation we are in. We just try to do the best we can with love and God's guidance.
Friday, March 9, 2012
KONY 2012
This movement is spreading across the internet. I admit that I was skeptical at first. I heard this mentioned just in passing one day this week. I wasn't totally sure if I wanted to know what "Kony 2012" was about. Finally I decided to check it out when Caitlin called me after school yesterday to ask me to post on her Facebook "Make Kony Famous". Let me explain why it touched me.
Caitlin is my daydreamer. Most of the times my daughter has her head in the clouds and doesn't really seem to notice too much of what goes on around her. She is the emotional one though. She feels things so deeply and is just as sweet as can be. So, when she calls me & is passionate about me posting something on her Facebook, I have to check it out. Caitlin told me about the video and how she saw it at school. When I got home from work that evening she wanted to make sure that I had posted to her Facebook & then she went on to tell me what she had seen in the YouTube video. I could tell that Caitlin's heart was hurting for the children in Uganda and that it was very important to her. I was glad that I had posted on her Facebook for her.
I decided I needed to see this video. I watched the video on YouTube during my lunch hour today. I know that it may not make a real difference to some people but I agree that it does need to be brought to people's attention. As a Christian & as a Catholic we are taught that every life is important and that life should be protected from conception forward. If you truly believe that then how can you not support a cause that wants to draw attention to someone who kills & harms lives of children? Children are our future. If we allow someone to kill & harm our children then we are damaging and endangering our future.
As a Mom I am very sad and heart broken for the families that are torn apart in Uganda and for the children whose lives are destroyed by one man's quest for power. So, I am going to sign the pledge on the website www.kony2012.com myself. I know that I can't do much but I can let those in power know that I don't want this type of thing to continue in Uganda. That I will continue to pray for the children & the families in Uganda. I will pray for the capture and prosecution of Kony. I will pray for the LRA to be disarmed. I will pray for peace.
If you have about 30 minutes of time to spare please, take a moment and watch the video. Maybe we can make a difference and make sure that these children aren't Invisible anymore. Also, you can help my daydreamer feel like she's made a difference, too.
Caitlin is my daydreamer. Most of the times my daughter has her head in the clouds and doesn't really seem to notice too much of what goes on around her. She is the emotional one though. She feels things so deeply and is just as sweet as can be. So, when she calls me & is passionate about me posting something on her Facebook, I have to check it out. Caitlin told me about the video and how she saw it at school. When I got home from work that evening she wanted to make sure that I had posted to her Facebook & then she went on to tell me what she had seen in the YouTube video. I could tell that Caitlin's heart was hurting for the children in Uganda and that it was very important to her. I was glad that I had posted on her Facebook for her.
I decided I needed to see this video. I watched the video on YouTube during my lunch hour today. I know that it may not make a real difference to some people but I agree that it does need to be brought to people's attention. As a Christian & as a Catholic we are taught that every life is important and that life should be protected from conception forward. If you truly believe that then how can you not support a cause that wants to draw attention to someone who kills & harms lives of children? Children are our future. If we allow someone to kill & harm our children then we are damaging and endangering our future.
As a Mom I am very sad and heart broken for the families that are torn apart in Uganda and for the children whose lives are destroyed by one man's quest for power. So, I am going to sign the pledge on the website www.kony2012.com myself. I know that I can't do much but I can let those in power know that I don't want this type of thing to continue in Uganda. That I will continue to pray for the children & the families in Uganda. I will pray for the capture and prosecution of Kony. I will pray for the LRA to be disarmed. I will pray for peace.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Basketball, Cheerleading, & life
I have become a huge fan of my daughter's basketball team. What Mother doesn't? Caitlin plays all the sports. She is an all-around athlete. I really get into her basketball games even when she's not playing. Monday night was the last game of the season. All of the girls on the Abbott Jr. High Lady Panthers play very well & I try to cheer on every one of them. Sometimes I cringe when I see how rough the teams play but other times I'm cheering right along when we fight for the ball.
Last Friday was my neice, Heather's last home basketball game & I made a point to go see it. Not only was it the last home game of the year, it is her last in high school. My Heather 'chelle is graduating this year. (sigh!) I am so very proud of all of my neices and nephews and love all of their accomplishments. So, I was very glad to witness her last home game & witness Parent's Night. It was a wonderful game and now her team, West Lady Trojans, are off to the playoffs!!!
In so many ways I see how a basketball game is so much like life. We are constantly dribbling our way through life and these obstacles are constantly thrown in our paths that try to deter us from our goal. Yet if we have good Teamwork then we can make our goal. I know in my life that Teamwork comes from God, family, and friends.We have had many obstacles thrown into our paths on our basketball court but we are always working together and praying together to reach our goals.
I always try to be supportive and enthusiastic about everything that the kids are interested in doing. I try to be the best Cheerleader I can be for the kids but the girls can tell you, I have no clue as to how to be a real cheerleader. LOL!
Gabby is trying out for Cheerleader and has been working on developing her own cheer. She kept asking me for advice on what to do. Unfortunately, my ideas usually had her either laughing hysterically or rolling her eyes at me. That's when I called in the reinforcements, my neice - Heather. Thank God for Heather! She came over last Tuesday and helped Gabby work out a cheer. Those two girls are so alike sometimes. I had to fight back laughter as I watched them cheering in my living room. Of course, it always warms my heart when I see any of my family working together. We all try to be there for each other. It was just wonderful to see them laughing & having a good time together.
More good news on the home front: Gabby doesn't have to use her crutches now. She was released from crutches Monday after therapy. The only times she needs them now is if she gets too tired. She still has the boot on which makes walking a challenge but she is progressing so much every day!! Prayers answered.
So we will continue our Teamwork & Cheerleading in our house to get through our every day lives.
Last Friday was my neice, Heather's last home basketball game & I made a point to go see it. Not only was it the last home game of the year, it is her last in high school. My Heather 'chelle is graduating this year. (sigh!) I am so very proud of all of my neices and nephews and love all of their accomplishments. So, I was very glad to witness her last home game & witness Parent's Night. It was a wonderful game and now her team, West Lady Trojans, are off to the playoffs!!!
In so many ways I see how a basketball game is so much like life. We are constantly dribbling our way through life and these obstacles are constantly thrown in our paths that try to deter us from our goal. Yet if we have good Teamwork then we can make our goal. I know in my life that Teamwork comes from God, family, and friends.We have had many obstacles thrown into our paths on our basketball court but we are always working together and praying together to reach our goals.
I always try to be supportive and enthusiastic about everything that the kids are interested in doing. I try to be the best Cheerleader I can be for the kids but the girls can tell you, I have no clue as to how to be a real cheerleader. LOL!
Gabby is trying out for Cheerleader and has been working on developing her own cheer. She kept asking me for advice on what to do. Unfortunately, my ideas usually had her either laughing hysterically or rolling her eyes at me. That's when I called in the reinforcements, my neice - Heather. Thank God for Heather! She came over last Tuesday and helped Gabby work out a cheer. Those two girls are so alike sometimes. I had to fight back laughter as I watched them cheering in my living room. Of course, it always warms my heart when I see any of my family working together. We all try to be there for each other. It was just wonderful to see them laughing & having a good time together.
More good news on the home front: Gabby doesn't have to use her crutches now. She was released from crutches Monday after therapy. The only times she needs them now is if she gets too tired. She still has the boot on which makes walking a challenge but she is progressing so much every day!! Prayers answered.
So we will continue our Teamwork & Cheerleading in our house to get through our every day lives.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Frustration & Fun.....
Well, Wednesday was a mixture of frustration and fun. We had our follow up appointments at Cook's Children's in Fort Worth. It all started with the lovely rainy weather. It rained all the night before so the ground was nice and soaked. This made for interesting travel. But we did o.k. It was Gabby, myself, & MeMe on an adventure to Ft. Worth.
Our first stop was with the Orthopedic doctor, Dr. Vara. We barely skated in on time. I have to say, again, that the doctors and staff at Cook's are awesome. Dr. Vara talked to GABBY and listened to her. I was there to just fill in what she left out. We filled him in on the whole history with her foot. He then ordered a whole bunch of new x-rays and did a physical exam on her. Good News! The fracture is healed! Dr. Vara showed us the x-rays with the comparison between her two feet/ankles. You could see the difference in the bones because of her not using the one leg for 4 months. He then ordered some lab work to be done because he wants to make sure there is nothing else going on. He's checking for vitamin deficiency, calcium, & rheumatoid issues. He told Gabby that he wanted her to stay in the boot for another month. So, we will be back in Ft. Worth to see him in February and may have another MRI.
Next, we went to the lab at Cook's Children's for Gabby's blood work to be done. I was really impressed here too. They actually spray the area where they are going to draw the blood with a numbing spray so that it won't hurt! Heck! Why don't other labs and doctor's offices think of this?? So, even though they had to pull over 4 tubes of blood from her, it wasn't really painful at all.
Well, unfortunately by this time we had to run to our last appointment of the day much to the frustration of our tummies! But onward we went to visit with Dr. Ghandi & her physician's assistant, Fred. We like Fred. Fred met us at the room and started talking with Gabby. He had Gabby laughing and smiling the whole time. She told him about wanting to try out for cheer leading and Fred was very honest with her. He told her that we are going to slowly attempt to be at the point where she can try out but she also has to understand that we don't want to push her recovery so that she won't be back at square one with the injury. That was all the incentive Gabby needed. Dr. Ghandi then came to visit with Gabby. She also told Gabby that we need to progress slowly. The good news from Dr. Ghandi was that Gabby can slowly start working in therapy to get off of her crutches. You would think that Dr. Ghandi told Gabby she won the lottery at that point! So, we are going to be back to see Fred & Dr. Ghandi in February also.
By this time we were starving. It was about 3:30pm in the afternoon. Most people that know me, know that I hate big cities and traffic. So, I had used Mapquest to map out where we were going from the doctor's office. Gabby & MeMe wanted Mexican food and we decided we were going to try to find Joe T. Garcia's since Aunt CJ & Uncle Michael had bragged about it. So, we start on our way to Joe T's and end up really lost!! I finally got fed up with the mapquest and Ft. Worth's crazy roads and found a place to park. I pulled out my handy cell phone and found my GPS app. I put in the address for where we wanted to go and off we went. Unfortunately, by this time, Joe T's was closed for the afternoon. More frustration but we were laughing and joking as we were lost in Ft. Worth. Gabby told MeMe that I was scaring her! LOL!
So, off we go with our handy GPS to find Sam Moon and somewhere to eat along the way. I notice that the GPS is taking us down some unknown streets and start wondering "did the settings have us staying away from major roads?" Well, we finally happened upon Rosa's Cafe & decided we were stopping because our stomachs could no longer take the torture. While we were eating I decide to check the settings on the GPS on my phone. Yep! It was set to avoid highways!! (See me banging my head against the table now!)
After we finally filled our tummies, we were determined to continue our fun and frustrating adventure. We were going to Sam Moon's to look at jewelry, purses, & so much more of girly heaven (as Gabby puts it). Let me tell you, I found one of my new favorite shopping spots!! Here we found a purse for Caitlin that she wanted that if we had bought it in Waco would have cost us $45 to $50 but at Sam Moon's it was $24.99. It's so cute too. It's red with camo and has the western cross on it too. Of course, we tell her she could put the whole state of Texas in her purse but she loves it. Gabby found a duffel bag & accessories case that was black & white zebra print with purple trim. This was a huge bargain also. The bag was $11.99 and the smaller one was $6.99. Can't find it that cheap anywhere else. So, we had fun exploring the bargains at Sam Moon's.
Now it was time to return home. Luckily we didn't have anymore frustration on the way home. It was a straight shot down I-35 and we were home before 7pm. Even with the frustration of traffic, weather, & getting lost; we had a good time joking and laughing all the while. Plus, we had good news from the doctors so that we knew God was listening to our prayers. :)
Our first stop was with the Orthopedic doctor, Dr. Vara. We barely skated in on time. I have to say, again, that the doctors and staff at Cook's are awesome. Dr. Vara talked to GABBY and listened to her. I was there to just fill in what she left out. We filled him in on the whole history with her foot. He then ordered a whole bunch of new x-rays and did a physical exam on her. Good News! The fracture is healed! Dr. Vara showed us the x-rays with the comparison between her two feet/ankles. You could see the difference in the bones because of her not using the one leg for 4 months. He then ordered some lab work to be done because he wants to make sure there is nothing else going on. He's checking for vitamin deficiency, calcium, & rheumatoid issues. He told Gabby that he wanted her to stay in the boot for another month. So, we will be back in Ft. Worth to see him in February and may have another MRI.
Next, we went to the lab at Cook's Children's for Gabby's blood work to be done. I was really impressed here too. They actually spray the area where they are going to draw the blood with a numbing spray so that it won't hurt! Heck! Why don't other labs and doctor's offices think of this?? So, even though they had to pull over 4 tubes of blood from her, it wasn't really painful at all.
Well, unfortunately by this time we had to run to our last appointment of the day much to the frustration of our tummies! But onward we went to visit with Dr. Ghandi & her physician's assistant, Fred. We like Fred. Fred met us at the room and started talking with Gabby. He had Gabby laughing and smiling the whole time. She told him about wanting to try out for cheer leading and Fred was very honest with her. He told her that we are going to slowly attempt to be at the point where she can try out but she also has to understand that we don't want to push her recovery so that she won't be back at square one with the injury. That was all the incentive Gabby needed. Dr. Ghandi then came to visit with Gabby. She also told Gabby that we need to progress slowly. The good news from Dr. Ghandi was that Gabby can slowly start working in therapy to get off of her crutches. You would think that Dr. Ghandi told Gabby she won the lottery at that point! So, we are going to be back to see Fred & Dr. Ghandi in February also.
By this time we were starving. It was about 3:30pm in the afternoon. Most people that know me, know that I hate big cities and traffic. So, I had used Mapquest to map out where we were going from the doctor's office. Gabby & MeMe wanted Mexican food and we decided we were going to try to find Joe T. Garcia's since Aunt CJ & Uncle Michael had bragged about it. So, we start on our way to Joe T's and end up really lost!! I finally got fed up with the mapquest and Ft. Worth's crazy roads and found a place to park. I pulled out my handy cell phone and found my GPS app. I put in the address for where we wanted to go and off we went. Unfortunately, by this time, Joe T's was closed for the afternoon. More frustration but we were laughing and joking as we were lost in Ft. Worth. Gabby told MeMe that I was scaring her! LOL!
So, off we go with our handy GPS to find Sam Moon and somewhere to eat along the way. I notice that the GPS is taking us down some unknown streets and start wondering "did the settings have us staying away from major roads?" Well, we finally happened upon Rosa's Cafe & decided we were stopping because our stomachs could no longer take the torture. While we were eating I decide to check the settings on the GPS on my phone. Yep! It was set to avoid highways!! (See me banging my head against the table now!)
After we finally filled our tummies, we were determined to continue our fun and frustrating adventure. We were going to Sam Moon's to look at jewelry, purses, & so much more of girly heaven (as Gabby puts it). Let me tell you, I found one of my new favorite shopping spots!! Here we found a purse for Caitlin that she wanted that if we had bought it in Waco would have cost us $45 to $50 but at Sam Moon's it was $24.99. It's so cute too. It's red with camo and has the western cross on it too. Of course, we tell her she could put the whole state of Texas in her purse but she loves it. Gabby found a duffel bag & accessories case that was black & white zebra print with purple trim. This was a huge bargain also. The bag was $11.99 and the smaller one was $6.99. Can't find it that cheap anywhere else. So, we had fun exploring the bargains at Sam Moon's.
Now it was time to return home. Luckily we didn't have anymore frustration on the way home. It was a straight shot down I-35 and we were home before 7pm. Even with the frustration of traffic, weather, & getting lost; we had a good time joking and laughing all the while. Plus, we had good news from the doctors so that we knew God was listening to our prayers. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)