Life Changes

It's amazing the things that happen in our lives that completely  change everything.  On April 17, 2013, our lives were drastically changed.  The explosion in West, TX not only rocked our house it rocked our lives.  So many of our friends, family, & people we just knew had their homes damaged or destroyed.  The loss of fire fighters & EMT's in Abbott & West was devastating.  The West Ambulance lost not only members & friends, but also lost their facility & much needed equipment.  The West fire department also lost much needed equipment.  Families had their lives turned upside down not only by losing their homes but by injuries & deaths caused from the explosion.  The owners of West Fertilizer lost so much & are carrying this heavy burden on their shoulders.  One thing that West & Abbott has not lost during these trying times is our Faith.  As so many have said, we are shaken but we are not stirred.  Also, that God is big enough to help us through this.

Among all the stories of loss & damages there are many stories of miracles.  I can't tell you how many people have told me that somehow they weren't harmed when it's hard to believe when you look at the damage around them.  How in houses where angels & crosses are displayed, there is no damage near those items.  How in a yard where the statue of the Virgin Mary survived without damage but the bird feeder sitting next too it was completely destroyed.  There are so many signs that God and His angels were there protecting the people of West to the best of their ability.  

In the midst of tragedy, there was so much good that came about.  The people of West pulled together & started helping each other out.  Abbott opened it's doors to others.  Many surrounding communities pitched in with supplies, volunteers, & shelter.  In the days following, the people that were displaced jumped in to volunteer to help everyone else too.  Yes, there where people that took advantage of the goodness that was present as it always seems to happen with the devil walking among us.  But the goodness outweighed the evil.

I can't help but thank God for the miracles & the love that He has brought to us through these trying times.  We will continue to praise Him & to help our communities rebuild.

We are "Shaken not stirred" & "God is Big Enough".

Good Friday

Sitting in church tonight, it was so sad in a way.  The altar was stripped &tje statues were covered.  Even more of a stark reminder that this is also a time for mourning & reverence.  Jesus died on the cross so that we could live.  That was the ultimate sacrifice.

Can you say that if you were in His place, that you would die for Him?  So much to be grateful for.  God's ultimate love for us.   John 3:16 "For God so loved the earth that He gave His one and only Son so that whoever belives in Him may not perish but have eternal life."

Please remember all the blessings you have because of Jesus' sacrifice.  I know I am.

Amazing weekend

Have you ever had an experience where you were absolutely dreading something and, in the end, you wonder what the heck you were dreading?  Well, that was me.  My sister, Mom, Dad, & a wonderful friend were all telling me that I really needed to attend an A.C.T.S. Retreat.  I kept putting it off because I could not think why I would need to attend a retreat.  Yes, we all need time to ourselves to recharge our spiritual side but I'm also not one to be around a bunch of people I don't know (in person) & share.  The thought of it made my skin crawl & scared me to death.

Well, my lovely sister & a dear friend managed to talk me into signing up (o.k. "pushed me" to sign up).  I held onto that application for as long as I could until my sister asked me to give it to her to make sure I got to go.  Even after that I was still thinking of backing out of the retreat.  Finally the day arrived for me to go on retreat.  That was a nerve wracking experience in itself.

I was a bundle of nerves & acid reflux.  By the time I got home from work, my stomach was in knots!  My husband was taking me to the church on his way to work so that I couldn't back out.  He was having too much fun teasing me about my discomfort.  He especially loved taking my phone away from me once we reached the church.  Lucky for him, my parents arrived to see me off. My darling husband had to leave for work so it was now up to my parents to make sure I got onto the bus for the retreat & not trying to walk home.  I was so nervous!!  My husband thought I was going to be ill in the parking lot (luckily, that didn't happen).

Next, I had to sit through the send off.  The whole time I was shaking inside & wondering when no one would look at me.  I felt like a bug under a microscope.  I know that was all in my head but hey, it felt real to me!  Luckily, my parents were standing behind me during this to make sure I didn't chicken out!  Then the time came to get onto the bus.

Luckily, I was able to get a seat to myself on the bus.  I had plenty of time to ponder what was to come on our trip.  I still couldn't get the knots to work out of my stomach but I did manage to get a little catnap in.  But I was not prepared for what was to come.  Getting off the bus at the retreat center was a trial for me also.  There was a very warm welcoming but to me, it felt like suffocation.  I just wanted to get off the bus & away from everyone as much as possible.  Of course, my sister was watching out for me since she was on the retreat team.  No backing out now.....

I cannot go into to detail about what happened on the retreat because "what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain" but I will say that it is an experience that I was truly blessed to be a part of.  I will say that I cried many tears, laughed, and made some wonderful, new friends.  This retreat was definitely something that surprised me, in a good way.  As my sister told me, "you should always listen to what your big sister tells you".  If it had not been for her persistence and that of a good friend, I would have missed out on the chance of a lifetime.

I do believe that what I experienced has changed me & hopefully for the better.  I have a way to go but I think this has improved my travel on my faith journey.  I also know that I am not alone & have many new sisters to help me should I need it.  But, I definitely have the best big sister a girl could ask for that continues to look out for me.

So, no matter your apprehensions or fears, face them.  Take the time to go on a retreat and reconnect with your faith & with God. 

Luke 22:42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done." 

I hope that you will have the best experience possible & will take so much more from the experience than you ever thought like I did.

Guilt.....

It never fails that somehow my children can make me feel guilty with just a few words or a look.  Though what mother that works a full-time job doesn't feel guilty about not being with their kids?

My children have always been & always will be the most important things in my life. They drive me crazy & make me wonder if they are killing each other but they truly are the loves of my life.

I've had a hard time this week because I am going on a retreat where I won't have my cellphone. This will be the first time ever that my girls won't be able to readily reach me. It's also the first time their step-dad will have them to himself for an entire weekend. I know that Mike is wonderful with my kids but I still feel apprehensive leaving them.  I also know that I need this time for me. I need this time to center myself & reconnect with God.

I pray that while I'm gone my children won't kill each other & that maybe this will help them strengthen the bond they have with Mike & each other.  Hopefully I won't spend the whole weekend weighed down with guilt either.

Prayers and blessings to you.

Lent & Blessings

I find myself being reflective this time of year.  It's the beginning of a new year and the Lenten season.  So many Catholics I know think of the things they will "give up" for Lent and what a hardship this will be.  I can't help but think, this is not a hardship really.  If we stop and think of what Jesus "gave up" for us, we do so little to thank Him for His sacrifice.

I was listening to my daughters last night talk about what they are giving up for Lent & how important it was for them.  I was proud to know that they were giving up things that they really enjoy in reflection of the Lenten Season but yet, I wonder if they truly understand what this means.  I know within the next few days we will spend some time discussing this.

I have been constantly reminded that God makes things happen in His way in His own time.  We can ask, pray, even demand things from Him but it will not happen unless He wishes it so.  I know of several times that I have prayed & asked where He was when I needed Him most.  When I look back now I am reminded of "Footsteps". There are many times in my life when I can look back and see "one set of footsteps in the sand".  I know of many times when, to me, it seemed like God was not there with me at the time but I know that it was those times when He was carrying me & guiding me.

I hope that with the way our world is now & with raising my children, I can pass on to them that no matter how dark it seems, God is always with us.  He may be right beside us or He may be carrying us but He is always there.  All we need to remember is to pray and try to be the better version of ourselves that He wishes us to be.

There are so many blessings that He has allowed me to have in my life. So, I will try to use this Lenten Season to be more thankful for the sacrifices He made so that I could have those blessings.  I'm not going to try to make this about hardships or sacrifices, I want to make this about celebrating.  Celebrating that God sacrificed His only son so that we may live.  How wonderful is that?  That He gave His only son for us.  That is the most noble sacrifice and we should honor that and feel humbly blessed.

Angels

There are words in my heart that I can't seem to put onto paper to express my thoughts about these dear angels that have been lost.  We do not always know God's plans but we have to have Faith & Hope for the best.  I pray for every family that has ever lost an angel either thru miscarriage, born asleep, or lost them after having them for a very short period of time.  Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

I'm asking for you to please light a candle tonight at 7pm in any time zone for one hour in rememberance for these angels.  I know that I will be taking that time to remember mine, my friends', & my family's sweet angels that God welcomed into His arms.

So, please light a candle at 7pm tonight (any time zone) for one hour.

What would you do?

I have to ask this question, what would you do?  Now you are wondering what the rest of that question is.  Well here it is & then I'll explain why I'm asking.

What would you do if you are in your car, waiting to pull into traffic, & someone (who is walking by) either knocks on your window or tries to get your attention wants you to roll down your window?  Would you roll down your window and assist them?

I ask this question because it has happened to me quite a few times within the last two years.  Once, I was in the car with both of my daughters and we were stopped at a red light.  A man knocked on my daughter's window and was asking us to help.  We were not in the best part of town & , as I said, my daughters were with me.  I kept one hand on my cell phone and prayed for the light to turn green so that we could go.  My daughters were scared and finally the light turned for us to go.

Second, I was on my way from work when I had to stop at an intersection.  I was talking on my cell phone with my daughter to let her know I was on my way home.  As I stopped my car an older woman came walking up to my car with tears in her eyes.  I rolled my window just a crack to hear her.  She asked me for help because she was taking care of her grandchildren and desperately needed money to feed them.  I gave her the last $20 I had on me that day.

Third, I have seen this man several times recently.  There's an older man that stands at the stop light near the interstate where I go every day.  He's always walking up & down the median trying to get any one's attention.  I always avert my eyes and hope he doesn't try to bother me.

Each time I have encountered I am reminded of a Bible story.  I don't remember every bit of it but I remember the gist of it.  The story is how a man is told that Jesus is going to visit him that day.  So the man prepares for Jesus to visit him but is interrupted 3 times by strangers.  Finally, the man is so tired and frustrated because he feels that God has not visited him when God appears to the man and explains that He had been there.  That He was those strangers that had interrupted him during the day.  I can't help but wonder when I'm driving away from these strangers that have interrupted my life, "what if that was God?".  What should I have done?

I've always tried to help those in need but in a safe manner.  I know that times are very hard right now and we have more homeless, hungry, & jobless people.  I also remember when I was in their shoes.  It was not too long ago that I didn't have a car and I had to walk several miles to and from work.  That I didn't have money for food & went a lot of time without anything to eat.  That I didn't really have a safe place to sleep but was grateful for what shelter I had at the time.  I also know that I was extremely grateful to those that gave me a hand up in my time of need.  But also during those times, I never knocked on some one's car window or tried to ask anyone to go out of their way to help me.

The hard part I have with it now, is that I'm scared.  Scared that the person that's trying to get my attention or knocking on my window may want to harm me or my children.  Yet, I'm also scared that if I don't do something to help them, that I'm not doing what I should be doing as a Christian.  So, I try to do my part by donating to the food banks, passing on information where they can get the help they are searching for.  But in my heart I'm always asking myself if that was enough.

So, I guess, as I wonder if I do enough, I'm curious to know what you would do.