Am I a bad Mom?

Well, the new school year has started and I feel like a bad Mom.  Why?  Because there were so many things that I forgot to do before my girls left for school today. 

1. I forgot to take the "First Day of School" pictures.  Honestly, when did this become a priority?  I don't remember ever having "First Day of School" pictures when I was growing up but I am supposed to remember to take pictures of my children before they go to school.  Guess we will start a new tradition: "Second Day of School" pictures!

2. I had no idea where Gabby had put her schedule of classes for this semester.  Last night she had already gone to bed & I was getting ready for bed when I heard their bedroom door open.  Gabby comes to ask me "Mommy, where's my schedule?"  Ummmmm???  Good question.  The last time I saw her schedule was last Thursday when we walked all over the school to meet all of her teachers.  Thank goodness she can get a copy of her schedule from the school office.  Also, since when was I supposed to know where her paper disappeared to?  ("But, Mom, you had it last." Ummm, no, I gave that back to you.  Didn't I????)

3. I get a call from the school today wanting to know if I have Gabby's immunization records.  Dang it!!!  Yes, my daughter has her shots but if I could remember where I put those papers I will be doing good.  Maybe the doctor has a shot for me to have a better memory?

4. I forgot to make sure Gabby had her physical papers with her this morning also.  Guess I will be searching my house this evening for all her papers or calling the doctor's office tomorrow.  ("Hello? Yes, I've lost my daughter's physical papers because my brain was not ready for school yet & is still on vacation somewhere.")

I swear, that sometimes I need a secretary at home to keep up with papers, schedules, & missing items!!  It doesn't help that we are still unpacking boxes.  If I was the only person in my house, I might be able to find things but I am not the only one.  So, I may have put something on the kitchen table (so it would be easy to find) but that doesn't mean it is still there. (The dog ate it! Honestly, she could have.  She's already shredded our gas bill.)

This kind of lost item situation happens often in our house.  Just this weekend I was checking to make sure I had my Westfest Associate Director name badge & to locate Mike's.  Guess what.  I found mine but we have no clue where Mike's is.  So, I guess I will be searching our storage facility to see if it is in one of the boxes that we haven't moved yet.  Especially since Westfest is this Labor Day Weekend.

Yes, we are spread here, there, & yonder.  We laugh about it in our house because we know how disorganized we are compared to others in our family. (Don't even ask how many storage buildings we have!) I wish I could be as organized and well prepared like my mother & sister.  I often have to call my sister to ask if we have a certain meeting or my niece will send me a text message the morning of the meeting.  LOL! 

I am working hard on organizing this new home of ours but I just need more time.  Between working full-time, keeping up with the girls' schedules, volunteering, & other family obligations; I'm good to get sleep!!  I keep praying that the organization fairies will magically fix my house for me.  They can also drag the house cleaning fairies, cooking fairies, & laundry fairies to help them out.  :)  Until then, I will continue to bumble things up and try to get it right.  At least I am there for my kids when they need me no matter how disorganized my home & life may be. 

Do you really know me?

As time goes by I find myself asking that question a lot.  I think it really hit home when my 20th class reunion came around this year.  I debated for a long time if I wanted to go or not.  I was part of our class page on Facebook & I would read the posts as the reunion drew closer.  As I read I would think "who is that?", "do I remember that person from high school?".  Of course, with a class of over 330 it's not likely that I knew everyone.  Also, not very likely that I was known either.

My husband, Mike, & I actually graduated from the same school & the same year.  We didn't really know each other in high school.  Mike will tell you that he saw me as "Miss Goody Two Shoes" in school because I didn't get into trouble and didn't go to the parties.  He was in a whole different "clique" at school than I was.  So, we didn't really know each other then. 

Mike & I were not able to attend the 20 year reunion after all.  We were moving into our new home (well, new to us).  We both took turns looking at the pictures posted on the Facebook page to see who we could recognize.  It looks like everyone had a great time but we couldn't even guess the names of some people.  I guess that's what happens after 20 years and a class of so many.  I found myself regretting that I had not attended the reunion.  That I felt like I should have gone to see if anyone remembered me like I was trying to remember them from the pictures. 

I don't know who would have remembered me & I sometimes wonder what they would remember about me from high school.  Would they be like my husband and think of me as the one that didn't get into trouble?  Would they think of me as the one that the computer teacher left in charge of the class whenever she left the room?  Or would they think of me as the friend that they missed & hadn't seen in so long?  I don't know what the answers to those questions would be now but hopefully we can attend our 25 reunion and see.

This whole thing with our reunion & how I was thinking brought me full circle to my daughter, Caitlin, who is a Freshman this year.  This summer we have talked about how she feels out of place because she thinks people think she is "too random & different".  The only advice that I can give to her is to be herself.  If only those people she goes to school with could see 1/10 of what I see when I'm around her, they would know what a special person she really is. 

I think the problem with high school is we are all trying to find our "place" and how we fit in with everyone else so that we don't really take the time to really get to know who we are.  I can tell you that the friends that take the time to really know you, are the ones that you will have the rest of your lives.  Also, take the time to really get to know someone that you are around all the time.  Everyone needs to dig below the surface and quit judging what's on the surface. 

So ask yourself, do you really know me and do you really know yourself?  I know I am.