Have you ever had an experience where you were absolutely dreading something and, in the end, you wonder what the heck you were dreading? Well, that was me. My sister, Mom, Dad, & a wonderful friend were all telling me that I really needed to attend an A.C.T.S. Retreat. I kept putting it off because I could not think why I would need to attend a retreat. Yes, we all need time to ourselves to recharge our spiritual side but I'm also not one to be around a bunch of people I don't know (in person) & share. The thought of it made my skin crawl & scared me to death.
Well, my lovely sister & a dear friend managed to talk me into signing up (o.k. "pushed me" to sign up). I held onto that application for as long as I could until my sister asked me to give it to her to make sure I got to go. Even after that I was still thinking of backing out of the retreat. Finally the day arrived for me to go on retreat. That was a nerve wracking experience in itself.
I was a bundle of nerves & acid reflux. By the time I got home from work, my stomach was in knots! My husband was taking me to the church on his way to work so that I couldn't back out. He was having too much fun teasing me about my discomfort. He especially loved taking my phone away from me once we reached the church. Lucky for him, my parents arrived to see me off. My darling husband had to leave for work so it was now up to my parents to make sure I got onto the bus for the retreat & not trying to walk home. I was so nervous!! My husband thought I was going to be ill in the parking lot (luckily, that didn't happen).
Next, I had to sit through the send off. The whole time I was shaking inside & wondering when no one would look at me. I felt like a bug under a microscope. I know that was all in my head but hey, it felt real to me! Luckily, my parents were standing behind me during this to make sure I didn't chicken out! Then the time came to get onto the bus.
Luckily, I was able to get a seat to myself on the bus. I had plenty of time to ponder what was to come on our trip. I still couldn't get the knots to work out of my stomach but I did manage to get a little catnap in. But I was not prepared for what was to come. Getting off the bus at the retreat center was a trial for me also. There was a very warm welcoming but to me, it felt like suffocation. I just wanted to get off the bus & away from everyone as much as possible. Of course, my sister was watching out for me since she was on the retreat team. No backing out now.....
I cannot go into to detail about what happened on the retreat because "what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain" but I will say that it is an experience that I was truly blessed to be a part of. I will say that I cried many tears, laughed, and made some wonderful, new friends. This retreat was definitely something that surprised me, in a good way. As my sister told me, "you should always listen to what your big sister tells you". If it had not been for her persistence and that of a good friend, I would have missed out on the chance of a lifetime.
I do believe that what I experienced has changed me & hopefully for the better. I have a way to go but I think this has improved my travel on my faith journey. I also know that I am not alone & have many new sisters to help me should I need it. But, I definitely have the best big sister a girl could ask for that continues to look out for me.
So, no matter your apprehensions or fears, face them. Take the time to go on a retreat and reconnect with your faith & with God.
Luke 22:42 Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done."
I hope that you will have the best experience possible & will take so much more from the experience than you ever thought like I did.
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