Wednesday, December 14, 2016

You would be turning 7 soon.....

7 years ago yesterday, I was sitting in the hospital E.R. hoping I was wrong but knowing that my heart was breaking bit by bit as we waited.  When they finally got us into a room several hours later & told us that you were no longer with us, I thought I'd die.  We were only about 4 months into the pregnancy when God decided He needed you more than we did.

The last few years I have handled the anniversary pretty well.  This year, not so much.  I still seem to tear up easily about you.  I think it's because of your baby sister, Isabella.  She just turned 3 the week before.  She's a spitfire.  I look at her and I can't help wondering about you.

We never got to hold you.  We never even found out if you were a he or a she.   I wonder if you would look more like your Daddy or like me.  I wonder if you would be a cuddle buddy, more independent, or a little of both.  I wonder if you would have the contagious smile that your sister has.  

I wonder if we would be involved with football, t-ball, gymnastics, or dance.  There are hundreds of things that I wonder about.  But I know that God has a plan and that someday we will be with you again.  For now, I can hold you in my heart and know that no one will love you more than your Mommy.  You are my sweet Angel baby & I know that one day I will hold you in my arms.

Until that day, I know that you are with God & the ones closest to us that have already passed on.  I love you, Angel Baby.

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